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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Sunday 18 October 2015

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - My hazy post (updated 19 Oct)

Haze haze, Go away
Come again? Someone will pay!

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Any smart Singaporean will look beyond the haze situation and see something positive. I tried doing that and I'm positive that the only thing I see is just more haze.

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I think it is fair to say that all Singaporeans would have experienced our local version of '50 shades of grey' from the haze from the past two months and counting. Similar to those who have watched the erotic movie, Singaporeans are left gasping for air at the horror they have witnessed, and hoping to sue the perpetrators for the anguish they have suffered.

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Halloween 2015: Most common fashion accessory- a N95 face mask. Most scary costume - Indonesian palm plantation owner with a lighted match in one hand and a bottle of palm oil in the other.
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 PSI says 80, but looks like 100, smells like 150 and yet my body feels like 50. WTF! Which sense should I trust before I go for my run? I'll rely on my common sense....and be a couch potato instead.

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Note to self when wearing face-mask :
1. Don't stick your tongue out and taste the face-mask. It is not food. Bad tongue. Serve you right.
2. You already had lunch. Don't burp into the mask and re-sample what you ate. Stupid tummy.
3. Don't wipe your face or mouth with face-mask. It is not a tissue-paper.

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I'm not able to admire the dolled-up office ladies each morning on my way to work now that they have an additional fashion accessory of a face-mask. But it is surprising to note that with only the peepers in view, it is still possible to distinguish the babes from the non-babes.

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Though schools are closed today (25 Sep), adults will still dutifully report for work so as to use the office aircon and charge their electronic devices and powerbanks. And thus smart employers should allow their staff to work from home. Have I ever told you that I have a clever boss?
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 Nothing like a hint of blue sky to chase the blues away. Let's keep it up, or rather, the PSI down. And if all goes well, the only burnt smell Singapore gets over the weekend will be concentrated at the Marina Bay area from the tyres of 20 F1 cars.

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Rare local sights: 1. An llao llao outlet with no queue. 2. Tech shows with no credit card booths. 3. A train with no one playing Candy Crush. 4. Blue sky.

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I can see immediate effect of the haze on my health. Since I'm forced to stay indoors, I had to forego my evening runs. And I end up exercising my mouth muscles from nibbling on junk food while watching Netflix. I think I would be healthier outdoors with the haze than indoors.

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latest scoreline:
Haze 1- Thunderstorm 0
Constant clicking on 'Refresh' button 1 - NEA Haze microsite 0  (the site crashed)

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 Urgent need of Graphic Designer to manipulate the picture I see out of my window. Need to import white clouds, enhance blue sky and delete the f**king haze! I don't need to see 50 shades of grey!

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Desperate times call for desperate measures. During this hazy period, we should maintain our last line of natural air filtration and let our nose hair grow and flourish. Health is more important than committing social faux pas.

Wednesday 7 October 2015

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 10 -photo journal)




Hope this caterer can deliver their food to their customers as airtight as their tissue pack as seen in my futile attempt to open it, and at the same time, not taste like it.


This is a rather hilarious album cover by K-pop girl group T-ara. In a group where every member possesses endless long legs, the shortest of them all (third from left) was forced to remain seated so as to present a more visually-pleasing image. Another member was forced to sit with her just so that the shortie don't feel like a sore thumb.





For the first two days when I saw this cup being left in the men's toilet, I feel sad for the guy who might be desperately searching high and low for it. After a week, now I feel sad for the cup for being abandoned and trapped, having to listen to lame small talks; witness pimple-popping and breath in noxious gas. I hope some kind souls can adopt it.




Not sure whether anyone told this retro dim sum institution that their website address will lead to nowhere. But then again, for F&B establishments where their menu remain unchanged even before the advent of the Internet and email, the only contact point they would ever need is the good ol phone.


Just spotted this little faux pas. Perhaps that's how foreign reporters react whenever they spot a 'SG' followed by a number. This little typo might just inadvertently highlight the real story that SG have spent tons of $ for its 50th birthday celebration.

More musings on myself.